Real* emails from real readers…


“Normally I’d let you know how bad the Tampa Bay Times’ winner and loser of the week column sucked. But now it’s behind a paywall, and nobody can read it anyway.” –Peter Schorsch

“I worked really hard on this week’s winner and loser of the week column, so it really sucks that the Tampa Bay Times won’t let me give away that content for free.” –Mike VanSickler

“Don’t worry, I don’t mind telling everyone that I was this week’s big winner. But you have to pay 99 cents if you want to find out why.” –Rick Kriseman

“At least the Miami Herald is still free. We’re not going anywhere.” –Miami Herald

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I, for one, am glad that the Tampa Bay Times loser of the week column is now behind a paywall.” –Suspended Port Richey Mayor Dale “Pot Shot” Massad

“With the loser of the week’s identity hidden behind a paywall, nobody will know whether or not Rick Scott is this week’s big loser after I rescinded the last of his appointments.” –Ron DeSantis

“Trust me, I can afford the 99 cent subscription, and I can assure everyone the big loser this week is not me.” –Rick Scott

“Perhaps I was named this week’s biggest loser?” –Ex-UCF President Dale Whittaker

“We’re worried that scapegoating Dale Whittaker won’t be enough to protect the rest of us.” –UCF leaders

“If I had any connection to Florida politics, I’d probably pay the 99 cents just to find out if I was named this week’s big loser.” –Asian massage enthusiast Robert Kraft

“I’d like to nominate myself for the upcoming loser of week honors, because starting today, I have to do Gary Fineout’s job and mine.” –Brendan Farrrington

“I’d like to nominate myself for next week’s winner, because Gary Fineout is about to learn what ‘low man on the totem pole actually means.'” –Matt Dixon

“Totem pole jokes are racist!” –Clueless Democrats

“Playbook deadline is 10pm, Gary. Don’t screw it up.” –Marc Caputo

“Yeah, Gary. Don’t screw it up.” -Arek Sarkissian

“Yeah, Gary. It’s about time you started doing some work around here.” –Alexandra Glorioso

And now, an update on the House District 7 race…which is heating up with accusations of negative campaigning between Mike Watkins and Jason Shoaf:


*All real emails are highlighted in bright yellow so that even wet-behind-the-ears Politico reporters like Gary Fineout can tell the difference between fake news and honest-to-goodness satire written for the amusement of bored lobbyists surfing their phones while sitting in endless committee meetings listening to people talk about actuarial tables for hours on end.

 

LLW Masthead 1000 x 100