Real* emails from real readers…

“With all the faux outrage over Adam Putnam’s concealed carry blunder, maybe I can just mail my campaign in for another month.” –Ron DeSantis

“With all the faux outrage over my office’s concealed carry blunder, few people noticed the Tampa Bay Times’ faux retraction of their original story.” –Adam Putnam

“If we use a headline saying ‘Adam Putnam blasts our report,’ we can keep on misleading readers into thinking maybe he’s just blaming us and we didn’t actually screw anything up even though we really did.” –Tampa Bay Times

“It’s too bad that Adam Putnam caught this mistake before we could exploit a real tragedy.” —Florida Democrats

“Well, I’m all for scathing rhetoric, but that’s a bit far, even for me.” –Matt Gaetz

“Believe me, I don’t really want to change the subject, because if I can get past Phil Levine, I can exploit Adam Putnam’s blunder in the general election. But right now, it actually helps me more if we talk about my big endorsement from the Florida teacher’s union.” –Gwen Graham

“You keep up getting all those traditional, boring endorsements while I focus on maintaining my commanding 10-point lead in the primary.” –Phil Levine

“Speaking of commanding leads, just because Frank White dropped a million dollars of his own money into the attorney general’s race doesn’t mean he can win.” –Ashley Moody

“Just because Frank White dropped a million dollars of his own money doesn’t mean he can keep up that pace until August.” –Jay Fant

“A million here, ten million there. Pretty soon you’re talking about real money.” –Rick Scott

“So your Game of Pols cartoon portrayed me in black armor…I think you missed an opportunity there.” –“White Knight” Frank White

“About Sarah Rumpf’s big ‘scoop’ in your little blog, I didn’t vote in 2016 presidential election because Alex Jones and I were too busy trolling the Young Turks.” –Roger Stone

*All real emails and real Politifact rulings are highlighted in bright yellow so that Polifact writers can tell the difference between fact and fiction, an affliction that some Republicans think they struggle with, while other, more cynical Republicans think they know exactly what the facts are but choose to ignore them on purpose because they are shameless liberal shills.