Real* emails from real survivors of Hurricane Michael…


“What a waste of a bye week.” –FSU football head coach Willie Taggart

Don’t worry, ‘Noles fans, because Andrew Gillum will get the power restored to Doak Campbell Stadium in plenty of time for Wake Forest to beat your team.” –Kevin Cate

I’ll restore power to Doak, but first I have to drag a dead branch around long enough for Kevin Cate to upload a photo of it to the Twitters.” –Andrew Gillum 

Enhance.” –Skeptical Tallahassee residents on Facebook

“I’ve seen worse photo ops, but I really can’t remember when.” –Mike Dukakis

“Why are we Democrats so bad at faking our photo ops?” –John Kerry

The best photo ops are aboard space shuttles. Followed closely by rides on Air Force One.” –Bill “The Space Junketeer” Nelson

 

“There’s no way I’d ever be seen aboard Air Force One with Donald Trump. Instead, I’m doing another photo op. That’s me below, clearing hurricane debris from the ductwork at City Hall.” –Andrew Gillum

 

I’d love to get in on those cool photo ops with Andrew Gillum, but I’m too busy helping helicopters airdrop supplies to what’s left of Mexico Beach.” –Rick Scott

“You can’t out photo op me, governor. Here I am riding a tank into Tallahassee to restore law and order after the hurricane.” –Andrew Gillum

“Speaking of pristine white gloves…I don’t need to do fake photo ops.” Ron “Top Gun” DeSantis

Image result for ron desantis navy seal

“Here I am restoring power to the residents of Tallahassee. Totally not faked.” –Andrew Gillum


*All real photo ops are plainly identified by the fact that Andrew Gillum isn’t in any of them. This should be obvious to anyone who isn’t a socialist.

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