Real* emails from real readers…


“Please don’t mention what happened to Dick Morris this weekend at the GOP Sunshine Summit spin room. After all, we at Newsmax have a lot invested in him, despite his proclivities.” -Chris Ruddy

I really couldn’t hang out that long anyway. I had an appointment with an oral pedicurist.–Dick Morris

“🤮” –Capitolist Readers

With all my Fox News appearances, I really don’t have much time to watch Better Call Saul, but I’m told some liberals at reddit.com were circulating this pic last weekend.” –Ron DeSantis

Eh…it’s all good, man. Anyone can find a photo where two people’s hands are in a similar position.” –Adam Putnam

“I’m not superstitious, but it is bad luck to receive any media attention when under consideration for an appointment to SCOTUS.” –Florida Supreme Court Chief Justice Charles Canady

I take no joy from rubbing salt in an open, festering wound, but given the fact that I’m up in the polls, and have way more money to spend on my campaign, the fact that Puerto Ricans like me more than Bill Nelson really has to sting.” —Futuro U.S. Senador Rick Scott 

“Please don’t @ me when I attempt to have my cake and eat it too. On the one hand, I’m trying to help Bill Nelson by accusing Rick Scott of profiting from his investments as governor. On the other hand, we want to force Rick Scott to open his blind trust so that we can see if our accusations are true.” –Florida Democrat Party Email Spammer Nate Evans

 

We’re not saying we’re going to clear Jack Latvala of all charges…but we’d like everyone to know just how hard it is to prove public corruption charges with nothing more than witness testimony.” –FDLE Investigators

“I’m no expert on law enforcement investigations, but I am an expert at media relations and public perception. So if I were FDLE and had to wash my hands of an ugly situation related to Jack Latvala, I’d do it sometime this week.” –Ron Sachs, Sachs Media Group

I concur.” –Cory Tilley, CoreMessage 

The week of July 4th is like a gigantic news dumpster.” –Christine Johnson, On 3 PR

Sound reasoning.” –Sarah Bascom, Bascom Communications

Yep. Dump it now.” –Alia Faraj-Johnson, Hill + Knowlton

As a master of the weekend news dump, this is one of my favorite weeks.” –Erin Isaac

I know I won’t be paying attention this week. Of course I have a huge 4th of July bash at my house to prepare for.” –Kevin Cate, CateComm

Please don’t tell FDLE who sent you this screencap.” –Peter Schorsch

 


*All real emails are highlighted in bright yellow so that even FDLE investigators can tell the difference between actual intercepted text messages and totally made up speculation that has zero basis in truth, unless of course it turns out our law enforcement sources were exactly right.

 

 

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