Friday Funnies: July 1, 2016

by | Jul 1, 2016

Happy Friday, Capitolist readers! We thought we’d take everyone’s favorite weekday and use it to share some of the fun, freaky, and fantastic news from around the state. Please send us your suggestions for future Friday Funnies.

You’ve heard of Florida Man…but watch out for Florida Kitten.

A 6-month-old kitten is the prime suspect in a major cat-astrophe at the Pompano Beach Humane Society. The Miami Herald reports that the frisky feline liked playing in sinks and apparently managed to turn on one of the faucets, leaving the water running for 17 hours and flooding the facility with three to four inches of standing water.

According to the Herald, the water caused about $5,000 in damage, including the floors, cabinets, and walls, plus destroying a lot of cat food and litter.

None of the cats were injured, and the Humane Society is looking for donations to repair the damage and foster homes for some of the cats. Visit their website or call 954-974-6152.

As for the mischievous kitty, she’s been adopted and the new owners properly warned of her faucet-tampering skills.

Congressional candidate’s gun giveaway inspires parody

State Sen. Greg Evers made headlines with his AR-15 giveaway contest, and the story has inspired a parody article, claiming that for Evers’ next giveaway, the prize will be a “custom M1 Abrams battle tank.”

The article included a photo of such a tank with an Evers for Congress yard sign photoshopped on the side, and this description of the prize:

The custom-built tank will include an engraved inscription of the Second Amendment as well as an onboard gun rack to transport rifles and other firearms. An aftermarket horn has also been added that will play the “Star-Spangled Banner” when triggered.

Evers seemed to enjoy the joke, sharing the article on his Facebook page:

Alan Grayson’s latest lunacy

Liberal firebrand Rep. Alan Grayson is no stranger to outrageous comments, but this latest one had us scratching our heads. Frustrated that the Democrat establishment has lined up behind fellow Democratic Rep. Patrick Murphy, Grayson told the Tampa Bay TImes editorial board that Vice President Joe Biden hadn’t actually meant to endorse Murphy — at least not the Murphy who is a Florida Congressman.

“They sold him — Patrick — as being somebody different from who he was,” Grayson said on Thursday. “They managed to sell our Congressman Patrick Murphy from Florida by pretending he was the other one from Pennsylvania,” adding that he was “absolutely certain” that Biden had been confused.

Marco the Manatee?

We’ve seen duck costumes used to mock political candidates for “ducking debates,” and chicken costumes used for a similar purpose, but this is the first time we’ve seen manatee costumes.

Left-wing group American Bridge apparently sent two “Absentee Manatees” to stand outside a fundraiser that Sen. Marco Rubio had in D.C. on Wednesday.

USA Today reported that the manatees also had showed up at a Rubio rally in Sarasota back in March.

Disclosure: Greg Evers for Congress is a client of The Capitolist Publisher Brian Burgess’s media consulting company, Right Hook Consulting.

Got ideas for future Friday Funnies? Let us know at [email protected] or say hello on Twitter @TheCapitolist.

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