Friday Funnies: July 8, 2016

by | Jul 8, 2016

After a tough week, we could all use some fun stories. Our thoughts and prayers go out to the families and friends of the police officers shot in Dallas Thursday evening.

So, without further ado, here’s your weekly dose of the weird and wonderful news from around the state and world:

“Because we get virtually no snow, everyone can be out getting into machete fights over parking spaces all year long.”

Why is Florida so weird? If you’ve ever pondered the answer to that question, check out this VICE interview with Craig Pittman of the Tampa Bay Times, who has a book launching this week titled, Oh, Florida! How America’s Weirdest State Influences the Rest of the Country.

Florida man accused of stealing 107 sea turtle eggs

Glenn Robert Shaw, 49, of Tequesta was arrested last week after Florida Fish & Wildlife Services officers, acting on a tip, observed him stealing eggs from a female loggerhead sea turtle as she was laying them. Shaw had a total of 107 turtle eggs in his possession, 92 of which were reburied at the beach by FWC biologists and the other 15 kept as evidence.

Orange County Commissioner chickens out

Ted Edwards, Orange County Commissioner for District 5, wants his constituents to be able to have chickens in their backyards. Citing successful urban chicken programs in Orlando, Winter Park, and Maitland, Edwards sent a memo to Orange County Mayor Teresa Jacobs and his fellow commissioners advocating for a similar program in Orange County, according to the Orlando Political Observer.

“Many Orange County residents are looking forward to the opportunity to raise their own backyard chickens.” said Edwards “These hens will provide a local, sustainable, environmentally responsible and delicious food source.”

Ruby Up Close


Hungry, hungry hippos

This story from Motherboard gets the award for the best headline of the week, if not the year: “Pablo Escobar’s Hippos Keep Having Sex and No One Is Sure How to Stop Them.” It’s also a fascinating tale of how the hippopotamuses that were kept in the personal zoo of Colombia drug kingpin Pablo Escobar are currently roaming free in the area around his former estate.

The short story is that after Esobar’s death thirty years ago, most of the animals in his zoo were captured and taken to other zoo facilities. The hippos, however, proved to be more difficult to manage:

The little hippo harem, on the other hand, was left behind, probably due to the fact that wrangling a 9,000 pound bull can be a life or death situation. So with no natural predators and a hospitable climate in which to thrive, four became eight, then 10, 20, and so on.

If you thought getting bitten by a shark was bad…

Once is bad enough, but a tourist from New Jersey had the misfortune to be bitten not once, but twice, by a shark at Melbourne Beach. The woman was reportedly bitten on her arm and leg, and transported to a nearby hospital. The report, from Fox 35 Orlando:

Don’t miss our story from earlier this week on the (fortunately rare!) risks of shark and alligator attacks in Florida.

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