Gwen Graham’s Entire Campaign Boiled Down to Seven Seconds

by | Jun 20, 2018

With one-time (and maybe still) billionaire Jeff Greene poised to qualify as a candidate in the Democratic primary for Governor today, and a series of previous polls showing either Phil Levine or Andrew Gillum leading the pack, Gwen Graham is a candidate in search of an identity of her own.  Today, she launched a new television ad, but it doesn’t do much to establish her as anything new or exciting.

She attempts to take on the complex topic of “health care” in under 30 seconds, and granted, she’s targeting a Democratic primary audience, so maybe some less skeptical voters will actually buy what she’s selling, which is folksy populism of the brand her father once peddled. I mean, Bob Graham is no “He-Coon” but he invented “work days,” after all, a brilliant political gimmick even Rick Scott adopted for a short while.

Gwen Graham kicks off her new spot by declaring, “It’s disgusting,” without explaining what, rather she simply lambasts “what’s going on in Tallahassee,” lamenting, “it didn’t used to be this way.”

But it’s all really nothing more than a flimsy excuse for the narrator to explain in a stern voice that our heroine, “DEMOCRAT GWEN GRAHAM” is none other than…

Bob Graham’s daughter.


Sorry for the letdown.

Its honestly enough for Democrats looking for a strong, independent female candidate (with real accomplishments she can point to) to pine for the days of Alex Sink.

The spot wastes no time getting to why you should care about Gwen Graham. The screen fills with old-timey photos of daddy, being all governor-like, and the narrator tells us how he expanded health care “for the infants to the elderly.” Eh…ok, sure he did.

The narrator doesn’t bother to explain why he didn’t already do what his daughter is promising now, but apparently he didn’t fix the problem when he had the chance. Maybe he was too busy writing a book about his political gimmickry?

The ad then cuts back to “independent Gwen,” you know, the woman who hasn’t accomplished anything in her life except win a single term in Congress based solely on her family name. She uses her father’s pedigree to launch into her own novel idea: the expansion of Medicaid, and she attempts to excoriate Republicans in the legislature for not already doing so.

It’s all rather sad, really, to see someone so desperate to win her second political office based on little more than her father’s reputation. In the future, perhaps she’ll cut an ad explaining all her accomplishments in the private sector and how that makes her a better candidate than, say, Greene, Levine, Gillum or even Chris King.

But in the meantime, we’re stuck with this latest ad. To save everyone the trouble, I whittled it down to the most essential seven seconds, and added a couple of textual flourishes and special effects to highlight the overarching theme of her campaign:


  1. Celestine Spencer

    Gwen, I share your sentiments about the state of affairs here in FL. I am a senior but would welcome an opportunity to be of help to your campaing if possible.

    Praying for positive results.

  2. John Public

    I think Gwen is now just hate-tweeting about President Trump. I guess the whole “I’m Bob Graham’s daughter” isn’t working too well.

%d bloggers like this: