We’re excited to introduce a new feature to The Capitolist, which the younger members of our team think will be a great hit: the weekly EmojiMeter.
Yeah…that’s right. We’ve gone and done it. Instead of up, down or sideways arrows, what better way to share our emotional reactions to the week’s news and newsmakers than through emoticons?
Here’s our inaugural entry (which we just realized looks awful when vertical on mobile. We’ll fix that in next week’s version. For now, if you’re on mobile, turn your phone sideways for best results):
| Who | EmojiMeter Rating | Notes |
| Governor Ron DeSantis |
🚫 💇🏼♂️❓ |
Announced his “Safe. Smart. Step-by-Step. Plan to Re-Open Florida.”
But. While. Branding is important. He. Decided. Eating in restaurants. Without a mask. Is somehow. Less dangerous. Than getting a haircut while wearing one. |
| Attorney General Ashley Moody |
🤜💥🤛 |
Calling out Nikki Fried when she blocked law-abiding Floridians from applying online for concealed weapons permits at a time when no one was allowed out of their homes is exactly why we elected a conservative attorney general. |
| Ag Commissioner Nikki Fried |
🤷🏾♂️☭🤡 |
Suspended online concealed weapons applications in a time of national crisis, and when in-person applications are discouraged. |
| House Speaker Jose Oliva |
📈📉😎 |
Cooly and correctly proclaimed this pandemic is over once it became obvious the hospital bed crisis wasn’t actually a crisis after all. |
| Florida Department of Economic Opportunity |
😬 |
With almost a million verified unemployment claims, DEO has paid fewer than half. Yes, it’s a lot of people, but the issue needs to be fixed, pronto. |
| Jacksonville Mayor Lenny Curry |
☀️🏄♂️ |
Sunlight kills COVID-19, but while NYC subways remain open, Curry took a rash of criticism from the national media for opening Florida’s beaches. Turns out, Curry knows that one-size-doesn’t-fit-all. Duval county is doing just fine, thank you. |
| Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Gimenez |
🏊♀️ 🏃🏾♂️ 👮🏽♂️ |
The mayor of Florida’s hardest-hit county says his constituents can enjoy the outdoors once more, but they MUST follow social distancing guidelines, which will be heavily enforced with hefty fines. |
| Florida Department of Health / Florida Department of Emergency Management |
🤦♀️🤬 |
Inconsistencies in data reporting early in the crisis made it difficult for media outlets to track exactly what was happening with COVID-19. Then last weekend, they stopped issuing their evening report, which all our data projections were based on. |
| US Senator Marco Rubio |
😘💸 |
Rubio released a Twitter video signaling his approval of media companies taking forgivable loans under the paycheck protection plan. But newspapers are insolvent and will never pay it back. Kiss that money goodbye. See the video for yourself. |
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