Monday Mailbag: Official Portrait Edition

by | Mar 19, 2018

Real emails (and photoshops!) from real readers…

“Still no Sheldon Adelson. But surely it won’t be long now.” –Ron DeSantis

You’d better hope so. I hauled in $500,000 in the first week of March alone.” –Adam Putnam

“I bet you guys would love to know how much I hauled in since Session ended.” –Attorney General Frontrunner Richard Corcoran

Who needs money when you have my daddy’s name ID?” –Bob Graham’s daughter

“Name ID is hard to get, but it’s also affordable. At least,…if you’re me.” –Phil “The Six-Million-Dollar-Man” Levine

“Name ID and money are both overrated. I’ve got Kevin Cate.” Andrew Gillum

Everyone’s gonna have to wait until next month to find out who’s got me…” –Brett Doster

With all the rumors about another big self-funder jumping into Florida politics, I’m surprised I don’t know who it is yet.” –Curt “The Whale Whisperer” Anderson

“Speaking of big campaign spenders, I might not have to spend nearly as much money as I thought to beat Bill Nelson.” –Rick Scott

“I don’t need to spend $80 milllion to beat Rick Scott, I just need voters to forget that I’ve been in office for over 40 years.” –Bill Nelson

It didn’t cost $80 million, but no matter how much it cost, Joe Negron paid too much for his official portrait.” –Peter Schorsch

“Who knew that Joe Negron’s official portrait would turn out even worse than mine.” –Barack Obama

“There’s been so much criticism and mockery of my official portrait, I went ahead and had it redone to make it more relevant.” –Joe Negron

*All real emails and photoshops are highlighted in bright yellow so that even Joe Negron can tell the difference between hacked photoshops and the work of a true artist like me.


%d bloggers like this: