Monday Mailbag: Democrat Salt Mine Edition

by | Mar 25, 2019

Real* emails from real readers…

“I’m pretty salty. I’m not gonna lie. I mean, I literally only tweeted twice on Sunday, which is a sure sign I don’t have anything else to say about Trump, Russia, and possible collusion.” –The Rick Wilson

“Please refrain from including video clips mocking the new wife of our firm’s namesake in future Monday Mailbag posts.” –Slater Bayliss

“Please tell Slater it’s okay because now even those who are loyal to the Bush family are starting to come around. That is, all except the Tallahassee Insiders who are still bitter about how Trump punked Jeb!” –Anna Navarro Cardenas

“But but but the report did not exonerate Trump on obstruction of justice!” –Very dumb Democrats

“How are we supposed to make the case that Trump obstructed justice by firing Comey over the Russia collusion investigation when Mueller just concluded there wasn’t any collusion to begin with?” –Democrats asking the right questions

“I love the taste of salty tears. But they’re even tastier when they come from liberals who are also Florida Democrats.” –RPOF Chairman Joe Gruters

“Speaking of liberal tears, it looks like the Mueller report has about as much as substance as the Quinnipiac poll that had Andrew Gillum up 7 a week before Election Day.” –Congressman Matt Gaetz

“I knew this was coming, and hate to admit it, but that jerk Matt Gaetz is right. I think all Florida Democrats should immediately begin to delete their tweets saying that the Mueller report would be the end of Trump. We’re going to look really stupid.” –Debbie Wasserman-Schultz

“Please tell Debbie Wasserman-Schultz that deleting things from the internet will likely backfire on Democrats like it did last week when we deleted the part of the Florida Rights Restoration Coalition website that said ex-felons had to pay their fines before registering to vote.” –Amendment 4 Campaign Team

“Yeah…so the salty tears I cried on election night have since been replaced by salty tears over the fact that my voter registration drive was going to focus on ex-cons, which, it turns out, actually do have to pay their fines and court costs first, and that’s just too expensive, even for my sugar daddy, George Soros.” –Failed Socialist Mayor Andrew Gillum

“Mueller-Schmueller. Isn’t anyone going to point out that the Tampa Bay Times didn’t even bother with a Winner and Loser of the Week column? It’s like they’ve literally given up on trying to be politically relevant.” –Peter Schorsch

*All real emails are highlighted in bright yellow so that even Democrats who haven’t heard about the Mueller report’s conclusions can tell the difference between hard evidence of Russian collusion and a totally made up dossier filled with fake emails sent by political operatives with ulterior motives.


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