Monday Mailbag: Earth Day Wacko Edition

by | Apr 23, 2018

Real* emails from real environmental wackos and other readers…

As the Democrat’s leading environmental wacko, today should have been my day. Instead, Adam Smith named Bob Graham’s daughter a ‘Winner of the Week’ because she was the only woman on the debate stage. What a freaking joke.” –Phil “The Green Knight” Levine

Adam Smith apparently only looked at pictures of the debate and didn’t listen to much of the actual substance. Because anyone paying attention knows that Levine and I sounded the most gubernatorial.” –Andrew Gillum

At least I know how much Florida spends on education.” –Chris King

“You’re such a pathetic rube. It doesn’t matter what Florida spends on education. The correct answer is ‘it’s never enough.’ My little punkin’ got the answer right.” –Bob Graham

LOL Just a reminder that Earth Day Founder Denis Hayes predicted in 1970 that ‘it’s already too late to avoid mass starvation.’ What a joker.” Matt Gaetz

Ah, yes, I remember that first 1970 Earth Day quite well. I was planning my first run for political office on a platform of preventing the next ice age.” –Bill Nelson

“If you were being honest you’d admit that you’ve been in office since the last ice age.” –Rick Scott

Can we keep doing Earth Day predictions?  In 1970 Life Magazine said ‘In a decade, urban dwellers will have to wear gas masks to survive air pollution… by 1985 air pollution will have reduced the amount of sunlight reaching earth by one half.’ ROFL.” –Matt Gaetz

Please tell Matt Gaetz to stop mocking Earth Day because everyone knows that there is scientific consensus around climate change.” –Tampa Bay Times climate alarmist Craig Pittman

“So much scientific consensus that we are suing Rick Scott to produce a climate change action plan.” –“The Children”

I’m no lawyer. Oh wait…yes I am. But do we really need a judge deciding what policies the executive branch should adopt?” –Pam Bondi

I’m no lawyer, which is why I’m running for governor and not attorney general.  Oh, wait a minute. I am a lawyer.”  –Future Florida Attorney General Richard Corcoran

Yeah, Richard, you ARE a lawyer!  You really are. And you’re a FINE lawyer too.  You would make a GREAT attorney general.” Ron DeSantis

Okay, sure he’s a lawyer. But so am I. And I’m actually a conservative lawyer, unlike Ashley Moody.” Jay Fant

Just because I have deep family connections to the Clinton Administration doesn’t mean wouldn’t make a good Attorney General.” –Ashley Moody

“Just because I haven’t made a peep so far in this race doesn’t mean I’m not about to.  Unless Richard Corcoran jumps in. In which case I’ll promptly support him and bow out.” –Frank White

“Just because y’all think the field for A.G. and governor is nearly set, I wouldn’t print those ballots just yet.” –Brett Doster

I don’t want to let Matt Gaetz have all the fun with Earth Day. Did you know population scientist and Stanford professor Paul Ehrlich predicted that 200 million people would die annually from starvation between 1970 and 1980? That really gives me a ton of confidence in current scientific predictions.” –Adam Putnam

Also, please let Richard Corcoran know he would make a terrible, a truly, truly awful attorney general.” Also Adam Putnam

Ooh…ooh…one more. Let me get one more in here. Did you know that in 1970 ecologist Kenneth Watt said that ‘The world has been chilling sharply for about twenty years. If present trends continue, the world will be about four degrees colder for the global mean temperature in 1990, but eleven degrees colder in the year 2000. This is about twice what it would take to put us into an ice age.’ A freaking ICE AGE. Did you catch that???  I am literally howling with laughter at these clowns.”  Matt Gaetz

*All real emails are highlighted in bright yellow so that even the wackiest environmental loons like Craig Pittman and Alan Levine can tell the difference between satire, totally made up baloney, and actual facts backed by evidence.


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