Monday Mailbag: Electric Boogaloo Edition

by | Oct 9, 2017

With lawmakers back in Tallahassee on Monday for Committee Week, excitement and electricity is in the air. Some politicians are jockeying for position ahead of the 2018 cycle, others for influence in the 2018 legislative session, and everyone is all charged up and ready to see what happens. What better way to start the week than taking a sneak peek at Real* Emails from Real* Readers of the The Capitolist’s notorious Monday Mailbag…

In the spirit of this week’s electricity theme, I’m hoping a visit from US Senator Kamala Harris can help jump start my campaign fundraising.” –Bill Nelson

“Haaa…jump start. So clever. But you’re going to need a lot more fundraisers if you want to recharge your political battery. Of course, since you’ve been in office for 40 years, you should already know that.” –Rick Scott

“Speaking of Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo, wasn’t my ancient colleague Bill Nelson in that movie as the stuffy politician?” –Marco Rubio

“Haha, great Photoshop. Love the faux leather civil war hat. But seriously, everyone needs to be ready for the electric boogaloo car revolution that is coming to Florida.”  –Jeff Brandes

“Welcome aboard the electric car bandwagon, Jeff. I’ve been driving my Tesla Model S around Tallahassee for a year now. Can I be on your committee?” –Randy Fine

“Can you feel the electricity in the air over my challenge to CFO Jimmy Patronis? No? Well, at least Adam Smith can feel it.”  –Tom Lee

“I assure you, Tom, Adam Smith is like, literally, the only one in the entire state of Florida.” –Jimmy Patronis

“While we’re on the subject of electricity, I think FP&L should cough up two billion, no, maybe three, yes, since I’m just pulling numbers out of my butt, let’s call it three billion dollars, because I had to log all my billable hours by hand for a full week. Do you know how sore my fingers are?” –Miami Lawyer Gonzalo Dorta

“Three billion sounds great. If I join the lawsuit against FP&L, do you think it will help me shift the blame away from the fact that our refusal to trim and remove trees in Coral Gables was a significant contributing factor in the power outage?” Coral Gables City Commissioner Frank Quesada (also chief legal officer at the plaintiff’s law firm)

You ambulance chasers do know that we restored power four times faster after Irma compared with Hurricane Wilma, right?” –Florida utility companies

Should we be shocked that it took Adam Smith more than a week to acknowledge how wrong charter school critics have been? We released the proof on September 27th.” –Urban Institute

“Speaking of ‘shocking’ stories, everyone should take note that the controversy about my refusal to lift the Jones Act for Puerto Rico turned out to be a whole lot of hot air.” –Donald Trump




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