Monday Mailbag: Gillum Crime Wave Edition

by | Oct 8, 2018

Real* emails from real readers…

What’s the hold up with the FBI investigation into Andrew Gillum’s corruption? In my experience, the FBI clears innocent people pretty fast.” –Brett Kavanaugh

Please tell all my fellow Florida socialists not to worry. If Gillum gets indicted, I’ll make a great socialist governor.” –Lt. governor candidate Chris King

MEDIA ADVISORY: All Ron DeSantis campaign events have been cancelled. For the rest of the election cycle, DeSantis will just walk the streets of Tallahassee and let a camera crew film it while he gets mugged and has his rental car stolen. It’s the perfect earned media strategy to attack Andrew Gillum’s record as the failed socialist mayor of Florida’s crime capital.” –Susie Wiles

“Ahem…please tell Susie Wiles that’s the craziest idea I’ve ever heard. And it just might work, as long as DeSantis doesn’t get murdered first.” Matt Gaetz

“That’s racist! I can’t explain how or why, but I’m a black Democrat so I can sling the race card as often as I want to without negatively impacting my credibility.” –Sean Shaw

Playing the race card has the added benefit of distracting millions of voters from Andrew Gillum’s terrible record on crime.” –Desperate Florida Democrats

If you think last year’s crime report was bad, you should see last night’s Tallahassee police blotter.” –Gillum’s former chief of staff Dustin Daniels

You mean this police blotter?” Christian Minor

Crime blotters don’t really tell the whole story though. Here’s an overlay of crime in Tallahassee over the past 24 hours. Looks like your typical sanctuary city.” –Brad Herold

“I’d respond to these attacks against my record on crime, but I’m too busy doing damage control on my record as Mayor during Hurricane Hermine.”Andrew “Killum” Gillum

“Uh…Mister Mayor…we got bigger problems to worry about than how badly you screwed up the last hurricane recovery.” –Kevin Cate

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*All real emails are highlighted in bright yellow so that even race-card playing Democrats can tell the difference between campaign rhetoric and actual racism.



What is the most glaring political issue facing Floridians ahead of Legislative Session?
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