Monday Mailbag: Gotta Die of Something Edition

by | May 18, 2020

Real* emails from real readers….

“Coronavirus, Ebola. Black Plague. Whatever. We got a convention to get to.” –RPOF Chairman Joe Gruters

“Typhoid. Malaria. Bird Flu. Whatever. We got an economy to restart.” –Wall Street

“Syphilis. Gonorrhea. Herpes. Whatever. We got a scandal to put behind us.–Andrew Gillum

“Sloth. Greed. Envy. Whatever. Kevin Cate got to raise his fees.” –Joshua Karp

“Kamala Harris. Val Demmings. Michelle Obama. Whatever. We got to get a black woman for VP. Not me.” –Nikki Fried

“Imagine being so boxed in by identity politics that Biden might put me a heartbeat away from becoming leader of the free world.” –Val Demmings

“Imagine being so boxed in by Trump hate that you actually have to hope the corona-chaos keeps wrecking the economy and killing people.” –Eric Trump

“Imagine being boxed in your home for two straight months, when there’s no actual evidence the lockdown is helping more than it’s hurting.” –Ron DeSantis

“Democrats aren’t the only ones to hope this lasts until at least November.” –Florida Justice Association

“Democrats and trial lawyers…what’s the difference?” –Jose Oliva

“Trial lawyers aren’t all bad.” –Cord Byrd

“Trial lawyers aren’t the only ones to hope this lasts until at least November.” –Liquor store owners

*All real emails are highlighted in bright yellow so that Florida trial lawyers won’t sue me for falsely representing their views on COVID-19 liability, which should be obvious to anyone who is not a humorless trial lawyer.



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