Monday Mailbag: “If We’re All Still Here in 2022” Edition

by | Jul 3, 2017

 

Due to an inexplicable power outage, the Monday Mailbag got cut short this morning. Here’s what we already had in the can around the time Talquin Power ruined my Sunday evening…and yeah…as always…it’s just satire, people.


“The line to kiss my ring forms in Jacksonville, but you can also get in line at the Governor’s Club when committee weeks start this fall.” –2022 House GOP Leader Paul Renner

“Now all we have to do is make sure we still have a majority in five more years.” –Blaise Ingoglia

“Please don’t tell me Blaise plans to stick around that long.” -Christian Ziegler

I can’t speak for Blaise, but if I’m still around in 2022, it’s only because I couldn’t find a Senate seat to run for.” –Jamie Grant

“I can’t speak for Blaise either, but if I’m still around in 2022, it’s only because I’m really bad at reading the tea leaves.” –Alex Miller

If Trump is still around in 2022, I’ll be stunned. But if I’m still around too, it’s only because I found a way to get back 8 hours of my life every day by quitting Twitter without looking like a cuck.” –Rick  Wilson

There’s no backing down now, Rick. You’re invested for the next eight years.” Reddit’s r/The_Donald

“Speaking of 2022, Can someone just remind us when it’s all over so we can finally return to Rick’s regular Twitter feed?  You know, the one that we all liked because wasn’t dominated by anti-Trump vitriol?” –97.3% of Rick Wilson’s Twitter Followers

“If I’m still around in 2022, it’s because I turned state’s evidence against my good friend Andrew Gillum.” –Adam Corey

“If I’m still around in 2022, it’s because Governor John Morgan granted me clemency.” –Andrew Gillum

“If I’m governor in 2022, it’s because Bob Graham’s daughter is worse than Alex Sink, and I had to get into the race to save the Democratic Party.” –John Morgan

“If  you’re governor in 2022, it’s because my father couldn’t dig up enough dirt about you other than those DUI’s.” –Bob Graham’s daughter

“If anyone other than me is governor in 2022, it’s because Jack Latvala decided to run in the primary against me and siphoned off my support.” –Adam “Presumptive Governor” Putnam

“There are only two reasons I’d bother to run for governor. The first is peeling support from Adam Putnam, and the second is peeling all you can eat shrimp from some of Florida’s finest buffets during my year long bus tour.” –Jack Latvala

“If Latvala decides to run for governor, I’m definitely running, too.” –Richard Corcoran

“Sounds like a fun party. Mind if I crash it?” –Ron DeSantis

“Speaking of crashing…There’s no truth to the rumor that either DeSantis or Corcoran crashed the secret Koch retreat.” –Andres Malave, AFP Florida

 

 

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