Monday Mailbag: Jose Oliva 2.0 Edition

by | Mar 4, 2019

Real* emails from real readers…


“Admittedly, the term “host body” was a poor programming choice. We should not have allowed Jim DeFede to engage Speakerbot Oliva in beta form. However, we’ve uploaded some new software just in time for the start of session. Everything will be fine, now, probably.” –Speakerbot Oliva 2.0 Communications Office

“In the spirit of bipartisanship during the 2019 Legislative Session, we’re also replacing a few other terms.” -Speakerbot Oliva’s Communications Team

“Naming Speaker Oliva ‘loser of the week‘ was a no brainer. But not naming a winner this week? Stupid. At least the failing Tampa Bay Times pulled that crappy column from behind the paywall.” –Peter Schorsch

“I hate to change the subject, but did everyone see how I got name dropped alongside some of the biggest political and sports celebrities in the nation?” –Slater Bayliss

“Hey, is there any way we can get access to this improved communications database?” –Matt Gaetz’s communications staff

“Sorry, call back later. we’re still adding upgrades.” –Oliva’s communications team

 


*All real emails are highlighted in bright yellow so that even nitwit CNN talking heads can tell the difference between biting satire and the sort of eyebrow raising real emails about said individual that I’ll never publish or admit to receiving.

 

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