Monday Mailbag: Piccolo Payola Edition

by | Dec 11, 2017

The Jack Latvala Scandal, already eating away at the credibility of the Florida Senate, has now spilled over into the House, by extension, into the press corps, and threatens to engulf more still. There so many hotspots in Florida that we’re starting to look like a California wildfire. The end result is that Real* Emails from Real* Readers are flowing like liquid hot magma, and I don’t have enough buckets to catch them all.


“Hey Brian, now that I’ve been outed as being Peter Schorsch’s ‘graphic designer,’ would you consider using me for your site, too? I’m attaching a sample of the work I did for Peter. When you see it, it’s obvious why Peter was willing to pay so much for my talent.” –Fred Piccolo

“Fred can also do down and sideways arrows, but those cost extra.” –Peter Schorsch

Dear Brian: Back in 2011, I hated the way you refused to give me access to the governor, but at least you were never on Peter Schorsch’s payroll.” –Mary Ellen Klas

“Brian: We hated the way you charged more for your public record emails than Sarah Palin, but at least you never took a dime from one of our competitors.” –Steve Bousquet

“Brian: When you worked for the governor, we were so angry at your heavy handed tactics that we, as a united press corps, demanded a meeting with you to discuss it. But at least you weren’t collecting a secret paycheck from a rival media outlet.” –Gary Fineout

We hated you, but damn it, did we respect you.” –Marc Caputo

Well, to be honest, I didn’t personally respect you. In fact, you made me so angry that I went insane and I left journalism altogether. But if I was still in the press corps today and I had to work with this Fred Piccolo payola scam, I’d probably be in jail for assault.”  –Aaron DeSlatte

If Fred Piccolo does graphic design work during office hours inside the Florida Legislature, aren’t all those fancy arrow graphics a public record?” –Barbara Petersen

Hold up…y’all aren’t honestly believing the story that he was getting paid for graphic design work, are you?” –Politifact Florida

Thanks to the Fred Piccolo Payola Scandal, all the mocking that would normally be reserved for me in the Monday Mailbag has been scrapped!” –Jack Latvala

“Thanks to the Fred Piccolo Payola Scandal, there’s a lot more focus on what the Speaker’s going to do about it than on what I’m going to do about my Latvala problem.” –Joe “Grab them by the” Negron

“Thanks to the Fred Piccolo Payola Scandal, nobody is paying attention to the fact that my Florida Democratic Party got named Loser of the Week.” –Terri Rizzo

“Thanks to the Fred Piccolo Payola Scandal, fewer people noticed that Phil Levine is totally destroying me in the race for the Democrat nomination for governor.” –Bob Graham’s Daughter

Thanks to the Fred Piccolo Payola Scandal, there’s now more opportunties for people like us to get hired by” –Real graphic designers in Florida

“I know that my second boss, Peter, said that down arrows cost extra, but this one’s on the House.” –Fred Piccolo

*All real emails are highlighted in bright yellow so that everyone can tell the difference between actual graphic design work and a cleverly crafted cover story.



%d bloggers like this: