Monday Mailbag: Political Paybacks and Backpay Edition

by | Jan 16, 2017

Over the weekend, Florida Democrats and Republicans both chose their party chairmen for the 2018 election cycle, and with that behind us, all eyes turn to Washington DC for the Inauguration of America’s 45th President of the United States, Donald Trump. What follows are Real* Emails from Real* Readers that landed in The Capitolist’s mailbag over the past seven days.

“The Florida Democratic Party is not for sale!” –Naive Democrat activists in Orlando

“I agree with the silly little people outside that the Florida Democratic Party is not for sale. I only want to rent it for a little while.”  –New FDP Chairman Stephen Bittel

Is the governor’s mansion for sale? Because if so, I might buy it.” –Miami Beach Mayor Phillip Levine

Uh…that’s gonna cost you more than you think, judging from your crappy ‘statewide announcement’ video.” –John Morgan

“The Florida Democratic Party might not be for sale, but I am!” –Representative Governor Charlie Crist

“Speaking of being for sale, if I change my party registration, can I run for Florida Democratic Party chairman next time? I’ve got lots of experience.” –Jim Greer

Speaking of Jim Greer, did you know the Republican Party of Florida started paying their chairman $115,000 per year to avoid the kinds of problems Jim Greer caused?” –RPOF Historian Richard Schwartz

Speaking of the RPOF chairman’s pay, did you know Blaise Ingoglia didn’t take a salary during his first term as Chairman?” –Ex-RPOF Vice Chair Joe Gruters

I can’t believe Blaise didn’t take a salary during the 2016 election cycle. We’ll have to do something to fix that this time around.” –RPOF Executive Committee Members

Are you sure it’s only $115,000 that Blaise did not take in salary?  Because I reported six months ago that it was more like $150,000 that he didn’t take in salary.” –Nancy Smith

“To make it up to me for my selflessness, the RPOF can just pay me double for the next two years…half a million bucks over the next 24 months seems fair.” –Blaise “Backpay” Ingoglia 

Wait, wait, wait. That’s just a rumor. I mean, Blaise was literally campaigning on the fact he wasn’t taking a salary. Now we’re paying him…AND giving him backpay?” –Incredulous RPOF Donors

Well, I’d love to see how you’re going keep the books in the black if you’re paying Blaise half a million dollars this cycle when I’m not raising any money for you.” –Titular Head of the RPOF Rick Scott

Don’t worry, guvnah. We’ve got it covered.” –De Facto Head of the RPOF Marco Rubio

Please tell Blaise not to come to me with his hand out anymore. It’s Jose Oliva’s responsibility to raise all that money to cover Blaise’s salary now.” –Richard Corcoran

Did anyone notice that I wasn’t even at the RPOF annual meeting this weekend?” –Jose Oliva

Did anyone notice how I named the political establishment as the winner of the week?” –Adam Smith

“We didn’t notice because we only the use the Tampa Bay Times for bird cage liner and fishwrap.” –Trump Republicans

Speaking of Trump Republicans, do we really have to wear tuxedos to the Governor’s Ball in Washington DC this week?” –Tallahassee Lobbyists

“Whatever you do, do it with class and style. As for me, I’m wearing a red tuxedo with a matching Make America Great Again trucker cap.” –Roger Stone

“I’m wearing a tuxedo made of hundred-dollar bills.” –Blaise “Backpay” Ingoglia

Speaking of the Trump Inauguration, did anyone see our inaugural entry this week? –Scottish TV Guide





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