Monday Mailbag: Shiny New Year Predictions Edition

by | Jan 2, 2017

 

The holidays are now behind us, and the 2017 legislative session looms ahead. And a backlog of predictions in the form of Real* emails from Real* readers loom in the ole’ mailbag.


“I predict Gwen Graham will graciously bow out of the 2018 governor’s race when she realizes she’s just not in it…for the people.” –John Morgan

“I predict John Morgan will graciously bow out of the 2018 governor’s race when he realizes the media is utterly in love with my daughter.” –Bob Graham

“I predict if I’m going to win the Democratic nomination, someone is going to have to keep my Dad from meddling with my campaign.” –Gwen Graham

I predict Blaise Ingoglia’s in for a big surprise on January 14th.” –Christian Ziegler

“I predict Christian Ziegler’s big surprise is that he’s going to drop out and endorse me.” –Blaise Ingoglia

I predict RPOF’s fundraising shortfall will become a big narrative over the next two weeks.” Jeremy Wallace

“I predict RPOF will report $3.6 million cash on hand at the annual meeting, debunking Jeremy Wallace’s story.”  RPOF House Campaigns

“I predict fundraising records will show that money is all frontloaded just so Blaise can have a talking point. But we all know RPOF staff is totally bare bones compared to what it was for the past decade.” Committee of Concerned Republicans

“Speaking of fundraising troubles, I predict I’ll have a record fundraising year. Because right now I’ve only got $1.6 million cash on hand, and if I don’t raise more money fast, my career as a career politician is over.” –Bill “The Desperado” Nelson

“I’m not much for predictions, but I do know math and finance, and I find it remarkable that in the 2012 cycle, Bill Nelson only raised and spent $16 million to defend his seat. So while I admire his ability to control costs, his inability to generate revenue is unconscionable.” –Rick Scott

“I predict my good buddy Rick Scott will raise $50 million this year alone. We have the best fundraisers.” –Acting President of the United States Donald Trump

“Fifty mil, eh? In that caseI predict I’m buying a new 2017 Land Rover this year. For everyone in my family.” –Curt “The Whale Whisperer” Anderson

“I predict Bill Nelson and I will find common ground on a great many issues this year.” Marco Rubio, a.k.a. Rick Scott’s second choice for US Senate in 2016 behind Carlos Beruff

“I predict we will consolidate the Miami Herald and Tampa Bay Times bureaus this year. Because there’s no sense in paying both me and Mary Ellen Klas to do the same job.” –Steve Bousquet

“I couldn’t agree more. It’s especially hard to see the value you bring since you lost your best source from inside the governor’s office.” –Mary Ellen Klas

I predict POLITICO will find a way to hire Gary Fineout, since his institutional knowledge and analytical talents are utterly wasted on his AP editors.” –Rick Flagg

“I predict Brendan Farrington might actually clean up his office this year, which has festered with the same trash strewn on the floor since 2013.” Gary Fineout

“I predict Gary Fineout is wrong about the trash on my office floor, which is precisely where I like it.” –Brendan “Chicken & Waffles” Farrington

Speaking of chicken and waffles, that sounds like a great idea for another fundraiser just before session starts.” –Adam Putnam

“Six and a half million isn’t enough of a head start?” –Richard Corcoran

“Speaking of head starts, I just love the new rule banning my rival legislators from campaigning for speaker this year.” –Jamie Grant

Is it considered campaigning if I let my Tesla autopilot drive me from secret meeting to secret meeting to deliver checks to potential supporters?” –Randy Fine

“Is it considered campaigning if I build support through a network of surrogates and quietly try to outflank everyone?” –Paul Renner

“Were Richard Corcoran’s rules supposed to be taken seriously in the first place?” –Tallahassee Lobbyists


*All real emails from real readers are highlighted in bright yellow. Other messages could not be independently authenticated.

0 Comments

Leave a comment

%d bloggers like this: