Monday Mailbag: Show Me the Money Edition

by | Jan 27, 2020


Real* emails from real readers…


“While it’s true I promised I would refile an amended financial disclosure, I never said when I’d file it.” –Nikki Fried

“Please tell Nikki Fried that we are available to help her correctly submit her 2019 Financial Disclosure, for a nominal fee of course.” –PriceWaterhouseCoopers

“Please tell Nikki Fried that we are available to help her with basic addition and subtraction.” –Florida Education Association

“Please tell Nikki Fried that we have no doubt all the new cash she claimed in 2018 was legit. But if we’re wrong, she shouldn’t talk to the police.” –Florida Bar Association

“Please tell Nikki Fried that we are eagerly awaiting her amended financial disclosures for 2018 AND 2017.” –Florida Ethics Commission

“Please tell Nikki Fried that I know some good criminal defense attorneys if she thinks she might need legal representation.” –Jimmy Patronis

“I think I speak for all Democrats when I say we have plenty of good criminal defense attorneys and we don’t need help from Republicans, thank you very much.” –Andrew Gillum

“I wouldn’t mind a do-over with a different attorney.” –Scott Maddox

“I hate to change the subject, but when are you going to talk about the impeachment trial?” –Nobody at all

“Speaking of impeachment, I haven’t been this disappointed since Evan McMullin failed to win Utah in the 2016 presidential race. Also, buy my new book.” –Rick Wilson

“Speaking of disappointment, is there a cheesier acronym than Florida’s new B.E.S.T. standards? I swear it wasn’t my idea. –Richard Corcoran

“We concur with Commissioner Corcoran that B.E.S.T. is the worst acronym we’ve ever heard.” –Philharmonic Orchestra Of Florida

 


*All real emails are highlighted in bright yellow so that even students who have not been educated under the B.E.S.T. standards can tell the difference between a legitimate financial disclosure document filed in full compliance with Florida law, and one filed by Nikki Fried.

Persons of consequence wishing to have their content considered for inclusion in the Monday Mailbag may apply by sending an email to news@thecapitolist.com, a mailbox that we occasionally check.

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