Monday Mailbag: Special Agent Andrew Gillum Edition

by | Oct 28, 2018

Real* emails from real readers…

Can you believe that Andrew Gilum had one of the worst possible weeks in politics, yet Adam Smith named me a co-loser of the week along with Gillum himself?” –Ron DEsantis

It was a bit of a stretch to name DEsantis the co-loser of the week, but what do you expect from the paper that endorsed the failed socialist mayor of Tallahassee?” Adam Smith

Look, how was I supposed to know all that free stuff from the FBI was a bribe?  I accepted all that stuff because I didn’t want to be rude.” –Andrew Gillum

Gillum’s taking taxpayer dollars to fund his campaign, but now the FBI is paying for his political fundraisers too? We’ve got to start thinking outside the box!” –DeSantis Finance Team

“Have you ever seen that movie with Keanu Reeves, where he’s an FBI agent posing as a surfer to catch a bunch of bank robbers?” –Kevin Cate

Dude…just…no.” –Keanu Reeves

Wait….what? Gillum was actually posing undercover as a failed socialist mayor to help the FBI root out corruption inside Tallahassee City Hall?” –Confused Florida Voters

“Yes, it’s true. Some of us sheriffs will lie right to your face because we put politics ahead of our own integrity.” –Lyin’ Leon County Sheriff Walt McNeil

“I sure hope undecided voters don’t hear what Gillum had to say about cops on our recent podcast, or his slim lead is gonna vanish.” –Pod Save America

“Speaking of law enforcement being used in TV ads, can you believe how bad Sean Shaw is getting trashed by Democrat and Republican Sheriffs?” –Ashley Moody

“I hate to change the subject, but can you believe I helped the NRA out with a couple of votes, and now they ‘thank’ me by making it known?” –Gun Lover Annette Taddeo

I can’t wait until this election is over so the Monday Mailbag will finally stop ripping on Andrew Gillum and start making fun of the regular chumps again.” –Doug Darling

Yeah, when are you going to start mocking us on a regular basis?” –Jose Oliva and Bill Galvano

*All real emails are highlighted in bright yellow so that even lying sheriffs like Walt McNeil can tell the difference between facts and the stuff spewing from his own mouth.


1 Comment

  1. Anonymous

    Even when you’re goring my ox, you’re still funny.

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