Monday Mailbag: Tallahassee Ghost Town Edition

by | May 5, 2019

Real* Emails from Real Readers…

“Thanks everyone for all the helpful handouts, infographics, press conferences, office visits, emails, phone calls, policy briefings, and political advice. We didn’t listen to any of it.” –Florida Lawmakers

“I’ve got good news and bad news. First, the good: It’s the first weekend of the month, which means we get 10 more free articles from the Tampa Bay Times. The bad news? All 10 of them suck. Especially this week’s Winner and Loser of the Week.” –Peter Schorsch

“To be fair, the Times did name me this week’s big winner for getting the ban on sanctuary cities passed. So maybe the state’s biggest leftist rag isn’t that bad.” –Florida GOP Chairman / State Senator Joe “POTUS has me on speed dial” Gruters

“Sad that Mike Van Sickler and Amy Holyfield still can’t be honest about Amendment Four when they named us the biggest losers of the week.” –Florida Voters

“We were so busy partying up in Washington D.C. this week that we didn’t even notice all the fecal bacteria causing algae blooms in Lee County. Then again, we don’t really want to talk about fecal bacteria causing algae blooms anyway, because it undercuts our political attacks on sugar farmers.” –Fake Enviro Group “Captains for Cleanwater”

“Hold on a minute. Just because Captains for Cleanwater ignore algae blooms caused by fecal bacteria, and get their funding from the Everglades Foundation doesn’t mean they are fake, does it?” –Fake Republican Congressman Brian Mast

“Hold on a minute. Just because Congressman Brian Mast partied it up with left-wing environmentalists last week doesn’t mean he’s a fake Republican, does it?” –Concerned GOP Voters in South Florida

“I hate to change the subject, but remember when insiders claimed that repealing Florida’s Certificate of Need law would be impossible?” –Skylar Zander, Americans for Prosperity


“What’s up with Peter Schorsch’s Winners and Losers of the 2019 Session column?  Are the winners all people who sponsor his site, or people he just wishes would sponsor?” –Capital Press Corps

“Yes.” –Peter Schorsch

*All real emails are highlighted in bright yellow so that people who are still sifting through Peter Schorsch’s “winner” list don’t have to waste a single additional second trying to ascertain the veracity of this week’s mailbag entries.





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