Monday Mailbag: The Do-Nothing Session Edition

by | Jan 13, 2020

Real* emails from real readers…

“Despite the rumors that nothing big will happen this session, I’m committed to exceeding expectations. I’m also committing to managing them.” –Wilton Simpson

“Maybe we could get a pay raise to afford our union dues?” –Polk County Teachers

“Not if you get fired for abandoning Polk County Students today.” –Union Buster Richard Corcoran

“Just a reminder that the teachers union, by definition, does not put students first.” –Jose Oliva

“Just a reminder that me and my journalist guild colleagues stand in complete solidarity with our teachers’ union brothers and sisters.” –Leftist labor agitator Mary Ellen Klas


“Nikki Fried’s blind trust isn’t the scandal we’re looking for.” –Florida Capitol Press Corps

“Hmmm. Maybe that union thing isn’t such a bad idea.” –Visit Florida President and CEO Dana Young

“A union isn’t going to save Visit Florida. But I can. Or, rather, I could, if only Speaker Oliva wasn’t so hard headed about tourism marketing.” –State Senator Ed Hooper

“Speaking of tourism marketing, I can’t wait to see if we set even more tourism records this year, just like we did last year after slashing Visit Florida’s budget.” –Jose Oliva

“Speaking of awkward conversations, I can’t wait for the parade of people who will traipse into my office to tell me why E-Verify is a bad idea.” –Gov. Ron DeSantis

“Speaking of awkward conversations, I can’t wait to tell Governor DeSantis that I’m running against him in the 2022 gubernatorial primary.” –Casey DeSantis

“Speaking of awkward conversations, can you believe I’m still out here railing against Trump and now I’m stooping to tell Democrats how to beat him?” –Rick Wilson

*All real emails are highlighted in bright yellow so that liberal labor agitators like Mary Ellen Klas can tell the difference between orders from central planning and a satirical spoof meant to mock her brothers and sisters in solidarity.


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