Monday Mailbag: Emoji Edition

by | May 13, 2019

Real* emails from real readers….

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“In case you still haven’t figured me out, I’m following the Charlie Crist blueprint from 2007. Remember how he was almost tapped for a VP slot in 2008? If I can’t win outright in 2024, someone will definitely pick me as their running mate. Mark my words.” –Ron DeSantis

“Please tell Ron DeSantis that it’s not going to be easy to ride the environmental train to the nomination. And good luck navigating the backstabbing politics of the 2024 “veepstakes.” Remember how my old boss sold out Rudy Giuliani for John McCain, then McCain sold him out for Sarah Palin, and Palin sold him out for Marco Rubio?  ” –Erin Isaac

“Please don’t tell us DeSantis is selling us out to the environmentalist wackos. Please no.” –Common sense conservatives

“Maybe a DeSantis ally and Trump fan like Matt Gaetz can shed some light on whether or not Ron DeSantis is a true conservative. Matt, what say you? Matt? You okay?” –Florida GOP

“IhatetochangethesubjectbutcanyoubelieveIgotnamedloseroftheweekbytheTampaBayTimes?” –Nikki Fried

“I’m far too busy on Twitter to open phishing emails about Donald Trump, medical marijuana or anything else. But I did open this week’s Winner and Loser of the Week column and boy did it suck out loud.” –Peter Schorsch

β€œWhy πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έare πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ you πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ always πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ picking πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ on πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ me? πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έβ€ –Mike VanSickler

“Wait πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ what πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ did πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ I πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ click πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ on?” –Charlie Crist

“πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈOnπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈbehalfπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈofπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈmyπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈclientπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈCharlieπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈCristπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈI πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έmust πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ ask πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ you πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ to πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ cease πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ and πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ desist πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ any πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ and πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ all πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ references πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ to πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ homosexuality πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ as πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ my client πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ is πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ neither πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ gay πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ nor πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ has πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ he πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ opened πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ emails πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έcontaining πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ such πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ content. πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ Thank πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ You. πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ” –John Morgan of Morgan and Morgan

*All πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ real πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ emails πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ are πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ highlighted πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ in πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ bright πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ yellow πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ so πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ that πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ even πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ lawyers πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ for πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈMorgan πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ and πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ Morgan πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ can πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ tell πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ the πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ difference πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ between πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ a πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ nasty πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έvirus πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ disguised πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ as πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ quality πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ content πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έabout πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ the πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ President πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ and πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έquality πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ satire πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ mocking πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ Matt πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ Gaetz’s πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ devotion πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ to πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ POTUS πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ oh πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ crap πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ what πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ did πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ I πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ click πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ on πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ


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