Monday Mailbag: Jeb! Looks Presidential Again Edition

by | May 11, 2020

 

Real* emails from real readers…


“Can you believe we can finally get a haircut starting today?” –Long-haired hippie-looking people working from home

“Is ‘haircut’ a euphemism for cutting the state budget? Because my hair looks legit as always and it feels like the budget is what we should be talking about right now.” –Jose Oliva

“I sorta feel like we should be talking about education and how we get everyone back to school in August.” –Richard Corcoran

“Not happening. There’s an election in November, and chaos helps our side.” –Florida Teachers Union

“Plus, this whole remote teaching thing isn’t all that bad a deal for us.” –Florida Teachers

“Speaking of haircut…maybe we should trim that raise we included for teachers in the state budget, and send it to the parents as compensation for having to teach their own kids.” –Ron DeSantis

“Speaking of education, did everyone see the photo from my Zoom conference call last week with yesteryear’s thought leaders?” –Jeb!

“Speaking of haircuts…” –Everyone looking at Jeb in the photo above right now

“Thank goodness barbershops are open starting today.” –Sally Bradshaw

“I think he’s going to need a full-blown salon for that mop.” –Kathleen Shanahan

“I think the powdered wig look makes him appear more presidential.” –Paul Bradshaw

“Oh, we get the joke now. It’s okay everyone. Go home and put away the pitchforks and torches. This website probably wasn’t trying to imply Jeb looked more presidential than Trump.” –The Capitolist’s 32,000 Facebook fans

“I wish I could afford a trip to the salon. Sadly I’m forced to beg for money so I can keep my job at the Miami Herald.” –Mary Ellen Klas

“Speaking of haircuts, that’s something I don’t need. Especially since I’ve been fitted for the Chump of the Week hat.” –Gregory Tony

“I hate to change the subject, but the slogan on your Emoji-Meter is ‘sometimes words aren’t enough,’ and yet there are way too many words.” –Lane Wright


*All real emails are highlighted in bright yellow, however this does not mean that some of the photos, like the one of Jeb! and his powdered wig have been photoshopped. Well, that one is photoshopped, but the one of him in the Zoom call….that’s real.

1 Comment

  1. Harold Finch

    Jeb??? That is really funny!! And could somebody put him and his cronies, the Bradshaw’s and Kathleen “who cares” Shanahan out to pasture!! We are so beyond this!!!

    Reply

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